《THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT》

《他们都是肉做的》

两个外星人 深夜幽会 探讨人类

双人普本，男男/女女/男女都可以，对性别没有要求(再说了外星人你要怎么分性别）

没有声线要求，走的开心就好

真正的‘肉’本，遇到‘肉’的时候可以适当强调一下

特别感谢：SaSa孟，.明姜，🍍菠萝熊测本和Erised🦉的宣传

注解：

1. 维迪雷，The weddilei: another intelligent alien race 

2. 欧佛雷，Orfolei：A carbon-based and sapient alien species that goes through a "meat stage" at one point in their lives, meaning they temporarily have human-like muscles, but then lose them.

3. C 空间， C space: C Space referring to C as the speed of light, implies the existence of other realms of space.

Setting：Diner里对接+观察人类

[前面有一段sax 不想听跳到 0:30 cup set on table+服务员走开后]

上面音效也不想听的话就拉到0:41 音乐起同入

Alien 1: （直勾勾看着店里的人类）"They're made out of meat."

外星人 1：“他们是肉做的。”

Alien 2: （疑惑）“Meat?"

外星人 2：“肉？”

Alien 1: （停顿，环视一圈）"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. （往前凑一字一顿）They're completely meat."

外星人 1：“千真万确。我们从那个星球的不同地方采样，把他们带到我们的科考飞船上研究了个透。他们完全就是肉。”

Alien 2: "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

外星人 2：“不可能。那些无线电信号呢？那些向外星发出的消息呢？”

Alien 1: "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

外星人 1：“他们用无线电信号交流，但是那些信号不是他们本身产生的，是机器发出了那些信号。”

Alien 2: "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

外星人 2：“那么是谁造了那些机器呢？那才是我们想要联络的对象。”

Alien 1: "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. （强调） Meat made the machines."

外星人 1：“他们创造了机器。我一直就在跟你解释这个，肉创造了机器！”

Alien 2: （匪夷所思）"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient（/ˈsɛnʃnt, ˈsɛntɪənt/） meat."

外星人 2：“简直荒谬！肉怎么会创造机器呢？你要让我相信肉有意识？”

Alien 1: "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures（小停顿·小眼神飘向收银台的男人） are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

外星人 1：“我不是在要你相信什么，而是在陈述一个事实给你。这些生物是那块区域唯一有意识的物种，他们就是肉做的。”

Alien 2: "Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

外星人 2：“也许他们跟欧佛雷类似，你知道的，一种会经历肉身阶段的碳基智慧生物。”

Alien 1: "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

外星人 1：“不，他们生来是肉他们死时还是肉。我们研究了他们好几个生命周期，也没花多长时间。毕竟你也知道肉能活多久是吧？”

Alien 2: "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

外星人 2：“饶了我吧！好吧，也许他们只有一部分是肉。你知道，就像维迪雷，外面是一个肉做的头但里面装着电子大脑。”

Alien 1: "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, （强调） we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

外星人 1：“不。我们也这么想过，因为他们确实就像维迪雷有个肉做的头。但我这么跟你说吧，我们检测过了，他们里里外外全是肉。”

Alien 2: "No brain?"

外星人 2：“没有大脑？”

2:53 隔壁桌的小哥 trying to stack cards and failing 叹气声

Alien 1: "Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

外星人 1：“噢，确实有个大脑。只是大脑也是肉做的！我一直就是这么说的啊！”

Alien 2: "So ... what does the thinking?"

外星人 2：“那么……他们用哪里思考呢？”

Alien 1: "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

外星人 1：“你还是没明白吧，你就是拒绝相信我说的这些。他们用大脑思考，用肉！”

3:20 脚步声+隔壁桌的人类聚集

原声：Hey how you doing man

原声：What's up boys

原声：Hey guys

原声：Hey~ How are you

Alien 2: "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

外星人 2：“会思考的肉！你要让我相信肉会思考！”

Alien 1: "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

外星人 1：“没错，会思考的肉！有意识的肉！懂得爱的肉！会做梦的肉！全是肉！你明白了吗？还是要我从头再讲一遍？”

Alien 2: （finally accepting） "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

外星人 2：“我的天呐，你是认真的，他们是肉做的。”

Alien 1: "Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

外星人 1：“谢天谢地，总算懂了。是，他们确实是肉做的。而且他们几乎已经用了他们星球上的一百年来试图和我们联系。”

Alien 2: "Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

外星人 2：“真不可思议，所以这些肉想干什么？”

Alien 1: "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

外星人 1：“首先他们想跟我们说上话，然后我猜他们是想探索宇宙，与别的意识生命建立联络，交换想法和信息。就那些司空见惯的事儿。”

Alien 2: （still reeling) "We're supposed to talk to meat."

外星人 2：“所以现在是要我们跟肉说话。”

Alien 1: "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

外星人 1：“是这样，他们用无线电发来的信息是‘你好，有人吗？有人在家吗？’ 差不多这样的话。”

Alien 2: "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

外星人 2：“那他们是真的会说话啰。他们也有词汇，有想法，有概念？”

Alien 1: "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

外星人 1：“是的，只是他们是用肉来做这些事的。”

Alien 2: "I thought you just told me they used radio."

外星人 2：“我记得你刚还说他们是用无线电。”

Alien 1: "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds （5:12 小唇齿音不用管音效，你读你的）You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? （5:19 烤肉声同入没卡上也不要紧）They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

外星人 1：“确实用，但是你猜无线电里播放的是什么？肉发出的声音。你就想象当你拍打或者振动一块肉的时候，它会发出声音对吧？他们就是通过振动他们喉咙里的肉来互相交流的，他们甚至还能用肉喷出空气的声音来唱歌。”

Alien 2: "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

外星人 2：“太神奇了，唱歌的肉。信息量太大了，那你怎么看？”

Alien 1: "Officially or unofficially?"

外星人 1：“官方说法还是个人意见？”

Alien 2: "Both."

外星人 2：“都说来听听。”

5:44 隔壁桌trying to stack cards and failing again

原声：Fuck

原声：It's ok man

Alien 1: "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

外星人 1：“官方来说，我们理应要不带偏见地——无论害怕还是喜爱——联络、欢迎并且记录下宇宙中这个象限里所有的意识物种或者多样生物。个人来讲，我建议我们把记录删了就当这事儿没发生过。”

Alien 2: "I was hoping you would say that."

外星人 2：“正合我意。”

Alien 1: "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

外星人 1：“听起来残酷，但也没办法/仔细想想。难道我们真的想跟肉有来往吗？”

Alien 2: "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

外星人 2：“百分百同意你说的。我们能说什么呢？‘你好，肉，最近好吗？’ 但是照你说的能行吗？有多少个这样的星球？”

Alien 1: "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

外星人 1：“就一个。他们能把自己放在特殊的肉类容器里进行星际旅行，但是他们没法在别的星球生活。而且正因为他们是肉，他们只能在C空间穿梭。这让他们最快也只能到光速，也让他们联系到别人的可能性微乎其微，事实上，几乎是零。”

Alien 2: "So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

外星人 2：“所以我们只用假装家里没人就是了。”

Alien 1: "That's it."

外星人 1：“就是这样。”

7:06 glass clinking

Alien 2: "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

外星人 2：“真残忍。但是你也说了，谁想跟肉交往呢？那被带到我们飞船的那些呢？你检测过的那些？你确定他们不会记得任何事吗？”

Alien 1: "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

外星人 1：“就算他们记得也会被当作疯子。我们抚平了他们脑子里的一些肉，现在我们只是他们的一场梦。”

Alien 2: "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

外星人 2：“肉的一场梦！多么奇怪又恰当，我们就该是肉的一场梦！”

Alien 1: "And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

外星人 1：“我们还把这整个区域标记为空置区了。”

Alien 2: "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

外星人 2：“非常好，无论官方还是个人我都赞同。结束。还有别的吗？星系的另一边有什么趣事吗？”

Alien 1: "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

外星人 1：“有，在两个星系自转之前，G445区的一个九级恒星上，一种相当害羞又可爱的氢核星团智慧生物联络了我们。”

Alien 2: "They always come around."

外星人 2：“他们总会来的。”

Alien 1: "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

外星人 1：“为什么不呢？想象一下若是只身一人在茫茫宇宙，那该是多难熬多无法言说的寒冷啊……”

隔壁桌欢呼声

原声：My God！+ blah blah blah + That's impressive

The End