Are men or women better at dealing with breakups?

男性和女性谁更擅长处理分手问题？

Breakups are often a painful turning point. Which gender responds best?

分手往往是一个痛苦的转折点。对此，男女哪一方应对得更好呢？

When a relationship ends, it is often about more than just saying goodbye to a loved one. A breakup not only leaves emotional wounds but also impacts everyday life, the social network, and future planning.

当一段感情关系结束时，这通常不只是和爱人说再见这么简单。一次分手不仅会留下情感上的创伤，还会影响日常生活、社交圈子以及未来的规划。

Previous studies on gender differences in dealing with separation indicate that men, in particular, seem to suffer more from the end of a relationship. They initiate divorces less frequently (Brüning, 2022), report fewer positive emotions such as relief and joy, and often suffer longer from symptoms such as sadness and insomnia after a breakup (Morris & Reiber, 2011).

先前针对人们处理分手时性别差异所做的研究表明，尤其是男性，似乎从一段感情关系的结束中承受更多痛苦。他们主动提出离婚的频率更低（Brüning，2022年），较少表现出如解脱和喜悦这类积极情绪，并且在分手后，常常会更长时间地受到悲伤和失眠等症状的困扰（Morris & Reiber，2011年）。

Why do men seem to suffer more from breakups than women? Emotional support likely plays an important role. Men in opposite-sex relationships often turn to their partners to fulfill their need for intimacy, connection, and emotional support.

为什么分手后男性似乎比女性承受更多痛苦呢？情感支持可能起着重要作用。处于异性恋关系中的男性常常会向伴侣寻求帮助，以满足他们对亲密感、情感联系和情感支持的需求。

Women, on the other hand, are more likely to have a broad support network of friends, family, and other social contacts that can help them buffer the emotional pain of a breakup and make it easier to adjust to life as a single (Liebler & Sandefur, 2002). ***

另一方面，女性通常拥有更广泛的社会支持网络，包括朋友、家人和其他社交关系，这些能帮助她们缓解分手带来的情感伤痛，也能让她们更轻松地适应单身生活（Liebler & Sandefur，2002年）。

The strong dependence on romantic relationships may make breakups particularly stressful for men, as they are confronted with the loss of a central resource—emotional support.

男性对恋爱关系的强依赖性可能使其在分手时承受更大压力，因为他们失去了一个核心资源——情感支持。

However, many studies on the effects of breakups have focused primarily on the experience of divorce and have often ignored breakups in non-marital relationships.

然而，许多关于分手影响的研究主要聚焦于离婚的经历，并且常常忽视了非婚姻关系中的分手情况。

In addition, most studies have only looked at how men and women fared after a separation or divorce, without taking into account their well-being before the separation.

此外，大多数研究只关注了男性和女性在分居或离婚后的状况，而没有考虑他们分居前的幸福状态。

A recent study (Wahring et al., 2024) addressed these limitations and examined gender differences in coping with breakups more comprehensively.

最近的一项研究（Wahring et al.，2024年）解决了这些局限性，并且更全面地研究了在应对分手问题上的性别差异。

The research team analyzed data from 1,530 people in Germany who had experienced a breakup between 2013 and 2021. The participants completed annual questionnaires over several years in which they reported their life satisfaction, loneliness, and depressive symptoms.

研究团队分析了来自德国的1530名在2013年至2021年间经历过分手的人的数据。参与者在数年时间里每年都要完成调查问卷，在问卷中他们需要汇报自己的生活满意度、孤独感以及抑郁症状。

Additional questions were asked in the event of a breakup: Who had initiated the breakup? How satisfied were the respondents with their single life? And how strongly did they desire a new partnership?

在出现分手情况时，（问卷中）还会提出额外的问题：是谁提出的分手？受访者对单身生活的满意度如何？以及他们对建立一段新恋情的渴望有多强烈？

On average, the last survey before the breakup took place about six months before, and the first survey after the breakup about six months after.

平均而言，分手前的最后一次调查大约是在分手前六个月进行的，而分手后的首次调查则大约是在分手后六个月开展的。

The study design made it possible to answer several important questions at once: Does the course of well-being differ between men and women before and after a separation? Which gender initiates breakups more frequently? And who finds single life more fulfilling or strives more for a new relationship?

这项研究的设计使得一次性回答几个重要问题成为可能：在分手前后，男性和女性的幸福状态变化过程是否有所不同？哪个性别更频繁地提出分手？以及，谁觉得单身生活更充实，或者谁更渴望开始一段新恋情呢？

Overall, the study revealed a few small differences between men and women in how they deal with breakups: Although men ended their relationships less often than women, they were less satisfied with their single life and longed more for a new relationship—which could indicate that men are more dependent on emotional closeness and affirmation through a romantic relationship. ***

总体而言，这项研究揭示了男性和女性在处理分手问题上存在一些细微差异：尽管男性结束恋情的频率低于女性，但他们对自己单身生活的满意度更低，并且更渴望开始一段新恋情——这可能表明男性更依赖于通过恋爱关系获得情感上的亲密感和认同感。

Nevertheless, the study showed that both men and women are similarly affected in their well-being after a breakup: The decrease in life satisfaction as well as the increase in depressive symptoms and loneliness were comparable in both groups.

尽管如此，该研究表明，在分手后，男性和女性的幸福感受到的影响是相似的：两组人群生活满意度的下降程度，以及抑郁症状和孤独感的增加程度都相当。

There are several reasons why no gender differences were found in the adjustment to breakups. Men and women may use different coping strategies that are equally effective.

在适应分手这件事上没有发现性别差异，其中有几个原因。男性和女性可能采用了不同但同样有效的应对策略。

For example, men might focus on distraction through work and hobbies, while women may be more likely to process their thoughts and feelings about the breakup in conversations with friends. This would mean that men and women differ less in the adjustment itself than in the way they deal with the breakup.

例如，男性可能会专注于通过工作和爱好来转移注意力，而女性则更可能通过与朋友交谈来梳理自己对分手的想法和感受。这就意味着，男性和女性在适应分手这件事本身上的差异，要小于他们处理分手的方式上的差异。

In addition, who men and women turn to for emotional support might have changed over time. Nowadays, men may be more likely to seek support from their friends than men in years past, which could positively affect their adjustment to the breakup.

此外，男性和女性寻求情感支持的对象，可能随着时间的推移发生了变化。如今，男性相比过去，更有可能向朋友寻求支持，这可能会对他们适应分手的过程产生积极影响。

In sum, these results indicate that the loss of a relationship affects the well-being of men and women relatively equally.

总之，这些研究结果表明，失去一段感情关系对男性和女性幸福状态的影响相对来说是差不多的。

They thus contradict the widespread assumption that men suffer more emotionally from a breakup than women. Instead, they show that breakups can be equally painful for both men and women.

因此，这些结果与普遍存在的一种观点相悖，即认为男性在分手后比女性在情感上承受更多痛苦。相反，研究结果显示，分手对男性和女性来说可能同样痛苦。