Much Ado About Nothing(4)

CLAUDIO Thus answer I in name of Benedick, But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. 'Tis certain so; the prince woos for himself. Friendship is constant[ˈkɒnstənt]常数 in all other things, Save in the office and affairs of love. Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues: Let every eye negotiate for itself, And trust no agent; for Beuty is a witch Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. This is an accident of hourly proof Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero!

Enter BENEDICK.

BENEDICK Count Claudio.

CLAUDIO Yea, the same.

BENEDICK Come, will you go with me?

CLAUDIO Whither?

BENEDICK Even to the next willow, about your own business, county. What fashion will you wear the garland[ˈɡɑːlənd]花环 of? About your neck, like an usurer's chain? Or under your arm, like a lieutenant's[lefˈtenənt]中尉 scarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero.

CLAUDIO I wish him joy of her.

BENEDICK: Why, that's spoken like an honest drover; so they sell bullocks. But did you think the prince would have served you thus?

CLAUDIO I pray you leave me.

BENEDICK Ho, now you strike like the blindman! 'Twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post.

CLAUDIO If it will not be, I'll leave you.

BENEDICK Alas, poor hurt fowl, now will he creep into sedges. But that my Lady Beatrice should know me,and not know me! The prince's fool-hah! It may be I go under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I am apt[æpt]易于 to do myself wrong. I am not so reputed[rɪˈpjuːtɪd]所谓 ; it is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice that puts the world into her person and so gives me out. Wel, I'l be revenged[rɪˈvendʒd] as I may.

(Enter , DON PEDRO HERO [and] LEONATO.)

DON PEDRO Now, signor, where's the count? Did you see him?

BENEDICK Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge[lɒdʒ]小屋 in a warren[ˈwɒrən]兔子窝. I told him, and I think I told him true, that your grace had got the good wil of this young lady, and I offered him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken[fəˈseɪkən]报废的, or to bind him up a rod[rɒd]杆,as being worthy to be whipped[wɪpt]鞭笞.

DON PEDRO To be whipped?What's his fault?

BENEDICK The flat transgression[trænsˈgrɛʃən]违反 of a schoolboy, who,being overjoyed with finding a bird's nest, shows it his companion, and he steals it.

DON PEDRO Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer.

BENEDICK Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself, and the rod he might have bestowed[bɪˈstəʊd]给予 on you, who, as I take it, have stolen his bird's nest.

DON PEDRO I will but teach them to sing, and restore[rɪˈstɔː(r)]恢复

BENEDICK If their singing answer your saying, by my them to the owner. faith you say honestly.

DON PEDRO The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you. The gentleman that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you.

BENEDICK O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her! She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester, that I was duler than a great thaw, huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance[kənˈveɪəns]运输 upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards[ˈpɒnjədz]匕首, and every word stabs[stæbz]. If her breath were as terrible as her terminations there were no living near her, she would infect to the North Star. I would not marry her though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her,you shal find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure[ˈkʌndʒə(r)]变魔术 her, for certainly while she is here a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary[ˈsæŋktʃuəri]圣所, and people sin upon purpose because they would go thither-so indeed all disquiet,horror and perturbation[ˌpɜːtəˈbeɪʃn]摄动，微扰不安 follows her.

Enter CLAudIO and BEATRICE

DON PEDRO Look, here she comes.

BENEDICK Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand[ˈerənd]差使 now to the Antipodes澳新 that you can devise to send me on. I will fetch you a toothpicker now from the furthest inch of Asia; bring you the length of Prester John's foot; fetch you a hair off the Great Cham's beard; do you any embassage/ˈɛmbəˌsɪdʒ/使命 to the Pygmies, rather than hold three words'conference with this harpy[ˈhɑːpi]女妖. You have no employment for me?

DON PEDRO None, but to desire your good company.

BENEDICK O God, sir, here's a dish I love not; I cannot endure my Lady Tongue!

Exit.

DON PEDRO Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of Signor Benedick.

BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while, and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one. Marry, once before he won it of me with false dice;therefore your grace may well say I have lost it.

DON PEDRO have put him down, lady, you have put him down.

BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek.

DON PEDRO Why, how now, Count? Wherefore are you sad?

CLAUDIO Not sad, my lord.

DON PEDRO How then? Sick?

CLAUDIO Neither, my lord.

BEATRICE The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry,nor well -but civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion.

DON PEDRO I'faith, lady, I think your blazon[ˈbleɪzn]纹章 to be true;though I'll be sworn if he be so his conceit[kənˈsiːt]自负 is false. Here,Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won.I have broke with her father, and his good will obtained. Name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy!

LEONATO Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes. His grace hath made the match, and all grace say amen to it.

BEATRICE Speak, Count, 'tis your cue.

CLAUDIO Silence is the perfectest herald of joy; I were but little happy if I could say how much. Lady, as you are mine, I am yours. I give away myself for you, and dote upon the exchange.

BEATRICE Speak, cousin, or, if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss and let not him speak neither.

DON PEDRO In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.

BEATRICE Yea, my lord, I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.

CLAUDIO And so she doth(es), cousin.

BEATRICE Good Lord, for aliance[əˈlaɪəns]联盟! Thus goes everyone to the world but I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a corner and cry'Hey-ho for a husband'.

DON PEDRO Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.

BEATRICE I would rather have one of your father's geting. Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.

DON PEDRO Will you have me, lady?

BEATRICE No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days. Your grace is too costly to wear every day. But I beseech[bɪˈsiːtʃ]恳求 your grace pardon me, I was born to speak all mirth[mɜːθ]欢乐 and no matter.

DON PEDRO Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you, for out o'question, you were born in a merry hour.

BEATRICE No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. [toHero and Claudio] Cousins, God give you joy!

LEONATO Niece, wil you look to those things I told you of?

BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle. [to Don Pedro] By your grace's pardon.

Exit.

DON PEDRO By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.

LEONATO There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord. She is never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say she hath often dreamt of unhappiness and waked herself with laughing.

DON PEDRO She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.

LEONATO O, by no means. She mocks all her wooers out of suit.

DON PEDRO She were an excellent wife for Benedick.

LEONATO O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad.

DON PEDRO County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?

CLAUDIO Tomorrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches[ˈkrʌtʃɪz]依靠 till Love have all his rites[ˈraɪts]仪式.

LEONATO Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just sennight-and a time too brief, too, to have all things answer my mind.

DON PEDRO Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing, but I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully[dʌlli]迟钝的 by us. I will, in the interim[ˈɪntərɪm]临时的, undertake one of Hercules'labours, which is to bring Signor Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection th'one with th'other. I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction.

LEONATO My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights'watchings.

CLAUDIO And I, my lord.

DON PEDRO And you too, gentle Hero?

HERO I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a good husband.

DON PEDRO And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know. Thus far can I praise[preɪz]赞扬 him: he is of a noble strain[streɪn]损伤, of approved valour[ˈvælə(r)]英勇 and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humour your cousin that she shall fall in love with Benedick; [to Claudio and Leonato] and I, with your two helps, will so practise on Benedick that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy[ˈkwiːzi]恶心的 stomach, he shal fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no longer an archer[ˈɑːtʃə(r)]弓箭手; his glory shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me and I wil tell you my drift.

Exeunt.